The "Who Dey"-ly News (happy Pat?)

(All credit for premise goes to johnny ishkabibble and buster douglas)



AUGUST 1, 2007



-Michael Strahan a no-show at Giants camp; which leaves a bigger hole on the defensive line than the one between his teeth



-Bud Selig will be in attendance at Dodger Stadium for the series with the Giants where Barry Bonds attempts to hit his 755th career home run......along with 55,999 Dodger fans waving makeshift syringes and chanting "Barry Sucks"



-Snoopy sells his number 7 Atlanta Falcons jersey on eBay



-David Beckham takes new LA Galaxy contract earnings to a Las Vegas strip club and "Makes it Monsoon"



-Titans safety Donnie Nickey starts brawl at training camp, resulting in Vince Young throwing a right hook. Because every team needs a no-name league minimum earning defensive back playing for a roster spot egging on the $58 million dollar future star quarterback, making him throw a punch with his throwing hand



-Daunte Culpepper signs one year deal with Raiders; Culpepper's right knee signs 3 year contract with North Oakland Medical Center



-Boston trades PF Al Jefferson, SG Gerald Green, C Theo Ratliff, SF Ryan Gomes, PG Sebastian Telfair, 2 first round picks, a box of Red Auerbach's cigars, Ted Williams' cryogenically frozen body, Tom Brady, and Gisele Bundchen to Timberwolves for PF Kevin Garnett



-Stephon Marbury goes on Mike'd Up, apparently high. This signifies that the Knicks season has already "gone up in smoke"



-Troy Hudson's (or T-Hud's) debut album "Undrafted" sells whopping 78 copies during its first week. Hudson can buy another 947,611 copies on Amazon.com with the ridiculous money the Timberwolves are paying him to do absolutely nothing